A Getaway

Imagine that this world is a HUGE music store...

I was working on my assignment and chatting with my friend in Indo at the same time *don't ask me how I could do that, hahaha...*. Well, actually...he was helping me with the gadget-related stuffs...as always..."Thank you much!!" =) Then we ended up talking about marriage *woiii...it's not like what you think. what were you thinking just now, btw? hehehehehe...*, pacaran, commitment, etc. etc. I dunno how we could go here and there, jumping from one topic to another. Anyway... there I got these pieces... Must admit that I like this analogy better than the "Buying Clothes" one -I'll tell you more about it later. If you like music, or exactly, if you like buying original CDs (not pirated ones), you'll find some truths behind this.

"anyway the decision to run or not is within your hand
if you compare things...you sure going to find the difference" --> sure you do, as when you start to compare things, you're aiming yourself to find differences
"gue selalu bilang ama temen...nyari cw tuh kaya beli cd-musik
kalo elo suka ama artis tertentu...elo akan pasti beli cd-nya
ntah bagus semua lagunya...jelas belum tentu
tp kalo elo suka ama artisnya ya elo harus terima kalo sometimes mereka make a crap song
just remember the good ones" --> and from my experience, after listening to a CD hundreds of times, I always end up loving most (if not all) the songs in that CD. Or at least... I get used to it, listening to the weird tones or silly lyrics repeated over and over again. Or in this case, we're getting used to the "whole" person we choose to be with. And after we get used to it, then we may get bored *oya, how about this boredom? forgot to ask you just now, he he..*. Well, a lousy CD gets me bored easily. But there are songs like Norah Jones' and Phil Perry's that always excites me whenever I hear them.
"mau punya cd yang bagus semua gampang beli aja yang kompilasi
tp sayangnya nyari cw itu susah yang kompilasi..."

Anyway...time to sleep...

am too busy, but this bit is too damn wise

This is what an extremely humble person teaches me...


iya atau ga iya, kan tetep jd temen.

mau nyari temen susah , ada temen masa mau di jadiin musuh.

kan aneh.


Well, talking is easy, but as far as I know... of those many many people he knows or know him, I've always heard comments that he's a nice guy whenever his name comes out in the discussion. And I've never heard him saying bad things about others either. May be to him, a person is all about nice characters he/she has. Or may be, at least, that's how he chooses to see people. So I guess... what he said to me in his mail must have been the one taking him this far, to the point where he is now.


Miss ya,
 

And by the way...
I haven't started any.

no life

Quackkkkk!!! Now I am stressed out!!!
*is now the time to panic??? ermmm, i guess so...or may be i should have done it earlier!!*
We've only been back to school for 3 weeks, but see what I have to go through within one-month time:
March 31 : Fixed Income assignment is due
March 31 : Quantitative Analysis of Finance II assignment is due
April 3 : Final exam - Technical Analysis and Trading
April 7 : Mid Semester exam - Quantitative Analysis of Finance II
April 13 : Strategic Management assignment is due
April 14 : Technical Analysis and Trading assignment is due

Isn't that GREAT?!?!?!
There must be something wrong with this!!!

The 2006 Commonwealth Games

It must be fun out there...either you are at the MCG or by the Yarra river. Tonight's the opening ceremony of the Commowealth Games. And I am here, at my desk, "watching" my laptop and TV, with a stack of Strategic Management's reading materials and a case study to ponder in front of me. Such an interesting too-valuable-to-miss-out thing what you're currently doing, Ayna... I believe there are people who prefer strategic management stuffs to this once-in-a-lifetime-event-could-be (as what my friend said  to me this afternoon, that subject sounded interesting since it's different from the other Finance subjects which were more numerical) Yup, and I'm not one of them, for sure!!! Absolutely!!! I'm so... out of it!!!

Hhh... do I need to do this subject? Will it make a different??

Observation

I dunno what's happening with people lately. I thought I'd already used to that cultural thing here. I remember last year, during my first months here, I used to be awfully shocked everytime I saw and heard people on the street or inside the tram got freaked out and shouting at each other. Then the frequency of seeing or hearing that kind of "event" lessened. I dunno whether it did lessen or it's just me who has been numb.

Hmmm...I don't remember if I ever was in one of those frightening moments during the last school break. But it's been few days that those things start to get on my nerves again. On Friday night, I saw young guys swearing to an old tram driver and he replied them in the same manner and it went on and on passing through few tram stops. This afternoon, I was put in the position of eavesdropping when a guy standing behind my seat was talking on his mobile. In total...number of calls received = 1; number of calls made = 1; number of tram stops passed by = approx. 9; number of the "f***" word uttered = infinite. And not to mention the fight we all watched in the middle of the service this evening.

I speculate that these two things might temporarily satisfy or  explain the puzzle. First, the ones who make lots of trouble are young people, and most likely are students as I didn't see or hear those things during break, when trams are much less packed than todays. Second, it's not only me who gets stressed out with this semester starting again...yup, there are more people out there who are burned out to the extreme!!! =)

A Survival Kit

Here's a tough weekend-lesson that I should learn from:

Whenever a person ask you a difficult, or actually...a bloody unexpected, question, the safest thing to do is to reply it with another question. Otherwise, you'll regret that you have ever answered that question!! At the very minimum level of brainwork, you can always twist that person's question into a negative form of it. Let say... he/she ask, "Do we...?" Then, it's your turn to answer, "Don't we?" That IS easy. As simple as 1, 2, 3. I should have kept that in mind.

between men and women

When my friend found that the pram she's pushing with extra care through a narrow space between a parked car and a wall was barely able to pass through that space, my other friend (it's a SHE) tried to help her by ensuring that the pram has a smooth slide. A guy was standing near them. And he came up with an idea of lifting the pram up over the car (yea...guys always come up with practical solutions, I wonder where those ideas come from... ;p). Those two women (not a girl anymore lha ya...) said they're alright. And the guy said, "Ah...strong woman..." Then one of them kiddingly replied, "Yes, strong and independent woman!"  I was pretty (and am very) tired at that time that I  simply watched what they're doing without thinking (my brain didn't allow me to do another thinking activity, enough for today...he he...). But what she said directly punched into my attention. It struck me in a way that's unexpected. Then for a while, I worked out that line in my head in an almost muttering fashion.

"Yea, the word "strong" and, especially, "independent" sound so grandiose in that sense. They sound powerful! They sound like a previously-impossible dream that's already come into reality!! They sound like a declaration of the new threathening phenomenon-hey, watch out, guys!!! Yet, I sensed a little pathetic thing in those words, or actually in that line. It sounds like you're trying to boost up your confidence... you're trying to teach yourself that you are equally capable to work with men, compete with men, and beat men, in the men's world...you're trying to let yourself unaware of your inner call."

Yup, that's pretty much about it...I didn't let the thinking take more than few blinks that time. And I won't continue it either now. Something's still bothering me... if women now ARE so much stronger and more independent than they were ever before, does it mean that there's no room left for vulnerability (whether intended or not) anymore?

Now I have to force my brain to think for at least a couple hours. Got the Technical Analysis and Trading thing tomorrow... straight from 9am to 4 pm!!! Hhhhh...

I was being blocked!

Yippy yeyyy... I finally can access my blog again...

I dunno what happened in the past few days. The error message kept on coming everytime I clicked the "update blog" button. Those few days were, in fact, the time when I did need to "speak out loud". Hmmm...you know, the first week of a new semester thing...when you're held in classes after quite a long break? Being unprepared? Being unable to think fast? And only the lecturers and some students who talked in the same language? You know that kind of feeling?

Anyway, I ended up calling out my friends and k when I was really stressed out and completely powerless (I mean physically and mentally here) at the same time. Well, that's the good thing of having more (I'm not saying "many") friends. So that when one or two or more of your friends are not available, you can always run to the other one(s). Otherwise, you'd be screwed.

But I found it funny the different moods I was made swing into when I was trying to contact my friends and asking for an impossible escape. Let me go through the list:
A friend picked up my call but asked me to call him later and remained unavailable 'till that late evening.

Another friend, as always, listened to me thoughtfully when I blurted out, saying what I wanna say.

Another friend quickly replied my sms with a "Yes" and got dressed to meet me though I knew that she was reading a lecture note at home.

My sis tried to console me with series of suggestions based on her experience, which always sounds easy to her. Yea, she always takes it easy when it comes to school stuffs, she's always managed to remain calm and score.

My k, out of my expectation, was "quite available" to kiddingly respond to my "live report". It had been quite some time we didn't chat. I didn't even remember when the last time I talked to him on the phone was. Two months were his figure. I'm not sure. Well, it doesn't matter. I was more concerned with what I realized -how familiar his voice was to my ear and how much I missed the comfort in it. You know people often say, "You don't know what you've got until it's gone."? The opposite is equivalently valid, "You don't know what you've missed until it's found." though it may sound implausible at first (how come you're able to tell that you've found "that something" if you never know what you're looking for or don't even feel like missing something).

Another friend, a-good-normal-friend-supposed-to-be, was out of reach.

And then I said to God, "Yea, here we are again, after all ups and ups and downs I've had recently, it's only me and You again at the end."